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The Longest Yard (27-May-2005)

Director: Peter Segal

Writer: Sheldon Turner

Music by: Teddy Castellucci

Producer: Jack Giarraputo

Keywords: Sports Comedy, Football, Prison

Former NFL quarterback Paul Crewe is convicted of DUI and will spend his 3 year prison sentence at a prison where the warden requested him by name. Warden Hazen wants him to coach the inmates' football team; specifically, Hazen wants the team coached such that they will lose against the guards. Crewe refuses, but after various coercions, agrees, and one can correctly surmise what follows. Remake of The Longest Yard (1974) which is a pale shadow of the original, but will probably be acceptable fare for anyone who feels Adam Sandler can plausibly be cast as a quarterback.

NameOccupationBirthDeathKnown for
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Wrestling
18-Dec-1964   Pro wrestler
Chris Berman
Sports Journalist
10-May-1955   Sportscaster on ESPN
Bizarre
Musician
5-Jul-1976   Girl chill out that shit came from my soul
Brian Bosworth
Football
9-Mar-1965   The Boz
Patrick Bristow
Actor
26-Sep-1962   Peter Barnes on Ellen
Edward Bunker
Author
31-Dec-1933 19-Jul-2005 Animal Factory
Allen Covert
Actor
13-Oct-1964   Grandma's Boy
Terry Crews
Actor
30-Jul-1968   Everybody Hates Chris
James Cromwell
Actor
27-Jan-1940   Babe, L.A. Confidential
William Fichtner
Actor
27-Nov-1956   Agent Mahone on Prison Break
Bill Goldberg
Wrestling
27-Dec-1966   Pro wrestler
The Great Khali
Wrestling
27-Aug-1972   WWE wrestler
DeShaun Holton
Rapper
2-Oct-1975 11-Apr-2006 D-12
Michael Irvin
Football
5-Mar-1966   Dallas Cowboys #88 wide receiver
David Patrick Kelly
Actor
23-Jan-1951   The Warriors
Kon Artis
Rapper
7-Dec-1978   D-12
Kuniva
Rapper
10-Dec-1976   D-12
Ed Lauter
Actor
30-Oct-1940 16-Oct-2013 Character actor
Cloris Leachman
Actor
30-Apr-1926   Phyllis and The Facts of Life
Tracy Morgan
Actor
10-Nov-1968   Saturday Night Live
Kevin Nash
Wrestling
9-Jul-1959   WCW wrestler, turned actor
Nelly
Rapper
2-Nov-1974   Hot In Herre
Burt Reynolds
Actor
11-Feb-1936   Moustached Cannonball Run actor
Chris Rock
Comic
7-Feb-1965   Everybody Hates Chris
Bill Romanowski
Football
2-Apr-1966   Abusive NFL linebacker
Jim Rome
Radio Personality
14-Oct-1964   Jim Rome is Burning
Adam Sandler
Comic
9-Sep-1966   The Wedding Singer, SNL alumnus
Rob Schneider
Comic
31-Oct-1963   Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Swift
Rapper
17-Mar-1976   D-12
Nicholas Turturro
Actor
29-Jan-1962   Detective Martinez on NYPD Blue

CAST

Adam Sandler   ...   Paul Crewe
Chris Rock   ...   Caretaker
James Cromwell   ...   Warden Hazen
Nelly   ...   Megget
William Fichtner   ...   Capt. Knauer
David Patrick Kelly   ...   Unger
Tracy Morgan   ...   Ms. Tucker
Cloris Leachman   ...   Lynette
and
Burt Reynolds   ...   Coach Nate Scarborough
Michael Irvin   ...   Deacon Moss
Bill Romanowski   ...   Guard Lambert
Brian Bosworth   ...   Guard Garner
Terry Crews   ...   Cheeseburger Eddy
Nicholas Turturro   ...   Brucie
Bill Goldberg   ...   Battle
Kevin Nash   ...   Guard Engleheart
Stone Cold Steve Austin   ...   Guard Dunham
Bob Sapp   ...   Switowski
Steve Reevis   ...   Baby Face Bob
Lobo Sebastian   ...   Torres
The Great Khali   ...   Turley
Joey "Coco" Diaz   ...   Big Tony
Edward Bunker   ...   Skitchy Rivers
Michael Papajohn   ...   Guard Papajohn
Conrad Goode   ...   Guard Webster
Brandon Molale   ...   Guard Malloy
Todd Holland   ...   Guard Holland
Walter Williamson   ...   Errol Dandridge
Allen Covert   ...   Referee
Rob Schneider   ...   Punky
Chris Berman   ...   Announcer (Himself)
Jim Rome   ...   Himself
Patrick Bristow   ...   Walt
Lauren Sanchez   ...   Herself
Dan Patrick   ...   Officer Jack Pugh
Christopher Neiman   ...   Big Ear Cop
Ed Lauter   ...   Duane
Sean Salisbury   ...   Vic
Rob "Revolution" Moore   ...   Gavin
Big Boy   ...   Jesse
Michael H. Goodwyn   ...   Con Transvestite
Ray Stoney   ...   Con Transvestite
Michael Silas   ...   Con Transvestite
Andre Fuentes   ...   Con Transvestite
Lonnie Henderson   ...   Con Transvestite
Asiel Hardison   ...   Con Transvestite
Colin Kim   ...   Con Transvestite
Mark Ellis   ...   Stretcher Guy
Tim Crowley   ...   Umpire
Kon Artis   ...   Basketball Convict
Bizarre   ...   Basketball Convict
DeShaun Holton   ...   Basketball Convict
Kuniva   ...   Basketball Convict
Swift   ...   Basketball Convict
Bryan Burwell   ...   Sportswriter
Sam Farmer   ...   Sportswriter
Jay Glazer   ...   Sportswriter
Peter King   ...   Sportswriter
John McClain   ...   Sportswriter
Adam Schefter   ...   Sportswriter
Larry Weisman   ...   Sportswriter
Marc S. Ganis   ...   Lorenzo
Shane Ralston   ...   Bradlee
Jenae Altschwager   ...   Party Guest
Candace Juleff   ...   Party Guest
Bryan Ross   ...   Party Guest
Ricardo J. King   ...   Press Box Technician
Stink Fisher   ...   Cafeteria Prisoner
Jasper Pendergrass   ...   Cafeteria Prisoner
Sean McNamara   ...   Cafeteria Prisoner
Robert Harvey   ...   Cafeteria Guard
Eric Chmielecki   ...   Guard Sniper
Denise Marie Jerome   ...   Guard Cheerleader
Jaayda McClanahan   ...   Guard Cheerleader
Tara Wilson   ...   Guard Cheerleader
Rachel Saydak   ...   Guard Cheerleader
Cara-Lee Knodel   ...   Guard Cheerleader
Nora Hassan   ...   Guard Cheerleader
John Hockridge   ...   Guard Hock

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