AKA Brian Jerard Kaelin
Birthplace: Milwaukee, WI
Race or Ethnicity: White
Nationality: United States
Executive summary: O. J. Simpson's friend
Brian Kaelin grew up in Milwaukee, and got the nickname "Kato" because he liked The Green Hornet's sidekick. Kaelin was a struggling actor and a friend of both Nicole Brown and O. J. Simpson. He was staying in the Simpsons' guest house on the night she and her boyfriend Ron Goldman were murdered. In the ensuing media circus, Kaelin became known as "America's favorite houseguest". At the trial, Kaelin testified that he'd heard "three thumps" from outside, something hitting the guest house wall between 10:40 and 10:45 on the night of the murders. But, he said, he wasn't curious enough to go outside and see what it was. He sued the National Enquirer for $15 million, for running the headline "Cops Think Kato Did It!" Kaelin's lawsuit was tossed out of court, but he appealed and won, receiving an undisclosed amount.
Kaelin has been a member of the Screen Actors Guild for over twenty years, so he's tired of being known only as O.J's houseguest. "People should realize that I shot a Coke commercial back in 1986. So, you know, I've been around a long time." Beach Fever, a low-budget sex comedy starring Kaelin, was filmed in 1987, but before Kaelin became a famous name no distributor was willing to release it. It was released at the height of Simpson's 1995 trial. Since then, Kaelin has hosted a quickly-canceled radio talk show, and occasionally hung out at the Playboy Mansion. In 2002, Kaelin was quickly eliminated from Fox's Celebrity Boot Camp, where fourth-tier celebrities drilled at Camp Pendleton as if they were Marines. The rapper Coolio won. Kaelin's best line in the show was, "I have one minute to go to the bathroom? It takes me 15 minutes to undo my zipper!"
Kaelin has had his own reality show "in development" (meaning, an idea no network has bought) since 2001. It's called Houseguest, and the concept is that Kaelin walks through random neighborhoods, knocking on strangers' doors and asking if he can stay as a houseguest for the weekend. When someone says yes, hilarity ensures. At least, that's the concept.
The home where the Simpsons once lived was sold at auction for $4 million in 1998, and the purchase included the adjacent cottage where Kaelin hadn't been curious about those thumps. The new owner had both structures demolished, to discourage tourists and gawkers.
High School: Nicolet High School, Milwaukee, WI
University: University of Wisconsin at Eau Claire (dropped out)
Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity
FILMOGRAPHY AS ACTOR
O.J.: Made in America (22-Jan-2016) · Himself
Ratko: The Dictator's Son (10-Jan-2009)
Dorm Daze 2 (5-Sep-2006) · Celebrity Judge #3
Mayor of the Sunset Strip (17-Jun-2003) · Himself
Pauly Shore Is Dead (2003) · Himself
BASEketball (28-Jul-1998) · Driveway Announcer
Cyborg 3: The Recycler (25-Sep-1994) · Beggar
Save Me (23-Mar-1994)
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