Female on the Beach (20-Aug-1955)|
Director: Joseph Pevney
Writers: Robert Hill; Richard Alan Simmons
From a play: The Besieged Heart by Robert Hill
Producer: Albert Zugsmith
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Review by Magda Mardot (posted on 12-Sep-2005)
The pinnacle of Crawford's 50s camp noir films! Loaded with fun -- giggolos, faded beauties, Eames sets, great sleazy evocative jazz score, Crawford, Sterling, Chandler; need I say more? Joan inherits her deceased gambler husband's beach house which she originally intends to put on the market. Jan Sterling is her diabolical realtor/competitor. Jeff shows up looking to fleece Joan for her money and possibly some sex. He is a "lover boy" being kept by Queenie (Natalie Shafer) and her devious British husband. It appears they've been pimping young handsome men out for cold cash. Joan doesn't fall for this. In her words, "When it comes to phonies like you, I wrote the book!" She also has one hell of a great sparring scene with the pimping middle agers when she says with that long smirk as she pours herself a drink, "I'd like to ask you to stay, but I'm afraid you might accept." Finishing with Chandler that evening she utters the fabulous line: "I wouldn't have you if you were hung with diamonds upside down!" This, after throwing a martini in his face! One has to put quality and culture in the back seat and just enjoy this B picture for its wonderful slice of film history. Jan Sterling has a great time playing the schizo realtor/jilted lover of Chandler and its amusing to watch her in action coming more unravelled as the film progresses. Personally, I'd kill to have that beach house myself! Wow, just furnished as it was, it was something out of Metropolitan Home today! And, as a bonus, Joan wears some of the most delicious baubles (fake, I'm sure, probably Weiss or Trifari) and top of the line mid-century busty petticoated-to-death dresses I've ever seen. Apart from everything else, there is yummy Jeff Chandler at his prime in many semi-clothed scenes. Just listening to his voice makes me tingle.
Review by anonymous (posted on 13-May-2006)
Female on the Beach is
classic Crawford melodrama. Filmed during the 50s when she was
desperately clinging to her divadom, it epitomizes the type of movie
that Crawford made as her career was winding down. It's almost comical
to see a late 40ish Joan showing of her legs (albeit nice ones) every
opportunity she gets. There's even one scene where she gets out of bed
in a baby doll pajama set. The heavy eyebrows and thick smear of
lipstick almost look ghoulish. Anyway, this is the perfect movie to
curl up with on a rainy day and enjoy as mindless pleasure!
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